What's all that jazz? Oh, that's just me rattling off all 6 zippy flavors of Otter Pops, my favorite summertime snack, from memory. No need for cheat sheets, I know my Otter Pops by heart. Oh, and for kicks I did them in order from most delicious to least (you know when you're down to the dregs of your Otter Pops when it's just Li'l Orphan Orange and nobody else. It's only fitting that the Orphan gets picked last).
Now that it's summer and I'm well into my second case of Otter Pops, I thought I drop a little ode to my very favorite frozen sugar-laden treat. Not nerdy enough material you say? Well how about the fact that I have visited the Otter Pops website and actually downloaded songs performed by the fictional pop group called Otter Popstars and used them in mix tapes (yes on actual cassettes) to woo the woman who eventually became my wife. If that ain't a nerdy devotion to Otter Pops, I don't know what is.
My Mom used to buy these things in bulk from Price Club (remember when that was a place?) and my siblings and I would down these things like nobody's business. At that time, my Mom was taking our family off processed sugar. We didn't have any candy or sweets of any kind in the house and yet Otter Pops made it under the radar somehow.
In those days I would only engage in 3.5 of the six flavors. I was all about Strawberry Short Kook, Alexander the Grape, and Sir Isaac Lime and could be talked into Louis-Bloo Raspberry if everything else was Li'l Orphan Orange and Poncho Punch. I didn't do Li'l Orphan Orange because she's the most boring of all the flavors. I once puked up a Poncho Punch, so that took him out of the rotation. Louis-Bloo Raspberry was ok in a pinch, but not nearly as good as the trifecta mentioned before. I can mark the official date of my becoming an adult as the day I bought a case of Otter Pops when I was in college and I taught myself to love each and every flavor. No longer am I an Otter Pop racist. Each color is beautiful and delicious (except those tropical flavored ones. That's just heresy).
Anyway, with the weather officially hot it's time for the Otter Pops to find their way into the respective freezers of every person in the world who knows what cool summertime treats are all about. Oh, and do yourself a favor and hit up the official Otter Pops website and download a song or two. I recommend "Place in My Heart." Play it for that special lady or guy in your life and then give them a Strawberry Short Kook, proving that you love them enough to give them the very best flavor. That's summertime love Otter Pop style.
Nerd transmission complete.
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