Thursday, February 21, 2013

Sticking Them With Some Other Chump

While listening to and reviewing all my CD's, I came across several regrettable choices, none more regrettable than the gut wrenching mediocrity of The Coral's Magic and Medicine. I haven honestly been trying to offload that disc since I first picked it up. No self-respecting record store would take it.

Anyway, I finally put my 17 worst CD's up for sale on ebay, and started the bidding at a mere 99 cents. What was surprising was that more people bid on my CD's, albeit in very small increments, than bid on my Punisher comic books which were up for auction at the same time. The winning bid was $3.25 for all 17 discs, and I was happy to be rid of them at any price. Just for fun, I'm going to go through each of the 17 discs and discuss just how much of the loot they were worth.

A - Monkey Kong - $.13 A fair price for some aggressively mediocre pop punk.

A - Hi-Fi Serious - $.21 A's second album is better than their first, but ultimately it still sucks.

The Apples in Stereo - Science Faire - $.20 This band is capable of so much more than they do here. This is a highly disappointing disc from a very good band.

Bouncing Souls - Tie One On - $.37 A live recording of one of the world's best punk bands is certainly one of the better discs in the lot. Of course this album sounds like it was recorded on wax cylinders by an untrained monkey, so the brilliance of the band does not shine through. Still better than most of the discs here, though.

Buck-o-Nine - Twenty-Eight-Teeth - $.14 This ska album does not move the dial at all for me. It's as if the Foo Fighters (a band whose music does not connect with me in any way, despite giving it many many chances) cut a ska record.

Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole - $.09 There was a time when I really loved this album. Of course there was also a time when I would poop my pants and just wait for someone else to take care of it. There are just certain things we grow out of.

The Coral - Magic and Medicine - $.01 I did consider making this album worth 0 cents, but I feel good about having been paid even the smallest pittance for it. Unloading this albatross will certainly be a blessing to the rest of my music collection.

The Dentists - Deep Six - $.22 This album is only a major disappointment because The Dentists cut a 7" single which by far the greatest 7" record I own. Every song on this disc is a pale shadow of the band's 45 rpm glory. If I had been introduced to them as a lukewarm britpop band, I wouldn't have been disappointed. I also probably wouldn't have bought this album.

Erasure - Other People's Song - $.15 It's hard to really really hate an album by a band you really love. Other People's Songs is just an awful collection of covers, and not worth listening to under any circumstances.

The Exies - Inertia - $.33 For 11.9 months out of the year I hate nu metal. For a small piece of every year, I feel the need to give my ears the musical equivalent of a meal at Taco Bell, and I suddenly become all about nu metal. For that reason and that reason alone, I award this disc a higher price than most others.

Greenwheel - Soma Holiday - $.19 An average price for some very bland alternative. I only bought this disc because a record store bargain bin had a "Buy 10 and they're $1 apiece" sale and I needed a 10th disc. I definitely overpaid.

Susanna Hoffs - When You're a Boy - $.17 Susanna Hoffs is one of my very favorite female artists from the 80's, but this album was a big mistake. It was a mistake for her to attempt to pull off some sort of weird female Hall and Oates sound, and it was a mistake for me to buy it.

Jet - Get Born - $.21 Jet was one of the umpteen bands in the early 00's to be branded "The New Rolling Stones." I don't like The Rolling Stones, so why did I collect all their acolytes? Get Born was fun at first, but it has no replay value.

Schatzi - Death of the Alphabet EP - $.25 I don't know what Schatzi is or what they are intended to be, but they almost achieve it. Unfortunately, there's too much good music to bother with relatively near misses.

Schatzi - Fifty Reasons to Explode - $.24 While their EP didn't answer the question "What is Schatzi all about?" this full length release does even less to answer the big question.

Various Artists - Plea For Peace/Take Action Volume 2 - $.08 There are actually a couple decent songs on this double disc compilation. Unfortunately, they are hidden in a mess of emo and screamo.

Various Artists - Saturday Morning Cartoons Greatest Hits - $.26 I actually really liked this album when I got it. The idea of having bands from the 90's cover classic cartoon themes sounds great, but it wears thin pretty quick.

Anyway, there you have it. 17 CD's worth a whopping $3.25. I'm just relieved to get rid of some of the worst entries in my music collection. I think the karmic benefits of offloading these discs will bring a bountiful year to the remainder of my music collection. Here's to hoping.

No comments:

Post a Comment